“You don’t stop playing because you grow old; you grow old because you stop playing.”
– George Bernard Shaw
We’ve all heard this quote, right? But let’s be honest- most of us still act like play is something we left behind with our childhood bikes and questionable fashion choices. Life gets serious. Responsibilities pile up. And if you’ve been through a major life upheaval, like divorce, finding time to play for play’s sake might feel downright indulgent.
But we need to be reminded- play isn’t just a frivolous pastime. It’s a biological necessity, a stress reducer, a community connector, and a resilience builder. And science backs it up.
The Science of Play: It’s a Survival Tool
Consider the 2009 study by Fagan & Fagan on young brown bears.
(Oh, you thought I meant the 2009 Chicago Bears- the ones that acquired Jay Cutler and still finished with a 7-9 record? NOT the example we’re looking for.)
The study found that young brown bears that engaged in more play were more likely to survive to adult independence. Not the biggest, not the strongest- just the ones who played the most.
Why? Because play develops adaptability. It fine-tunes problem-solving skills. It helps animals (including humans) regulate emotions, practice social interactions, and learn how to navigate uncertainty. It’s practice for life’s curveballs. And if you’ve been through a divorce, you know a thing or two about curveballs.
Another study (Siviy & Panksepp, 2011) found that play stimulates brain growth, particularly in areas responsible for emotional regulation and executive function. Play literally makes you more resilient, flexible, and creative.
And then there’s Keith Richards. The man has been “playing” for over 60 years, and he’s still here, still moving, still creating. There may be no formal studies on Keith, but the anecdotal evidence is overwhelming!
Play as an Adult: More Than Just a Luxury
Post-divorce, it’s easy to get stuck in a cycle of seriousness. You’re rebuilding, recalibrating, maybe even reinventing. And all of that takes energy.
But part of that reinvention involves reconnecting with joy. Play isn’t about escaping reality- it’s about engaging with it in a way that makes you stronger. It’s about reminding yourself that life isn’t just about responsibility; it’s about curiosity, spontaneity, and, yes, even whimsy.
Think about the last time you truly played. Not to win, not for self-improvement- just for fun. If it’s been a while, it’s time to change that.
How to Add Play Back Into Your Life
- Move for Fun – Dance in your kitchen. Join a rec league. Run around with your kids or dog.
- Create Without Purpose – Paint, write, build Legos- whatever brings you joy with no end goal.
- Get Outside – The natural world is the best playground. Climb a rock, skip stones, build a snowman.
- Laugh More – Seek out comedy, play a ridiculous board game, do an impression of your ex’s worst habit (petty, but therapeutic).
- Say Yes to Adventure – Try something new for the sheer joy of it. Micro-adventures count!
Final Thought: Your Permission Slip to Play
If you’ve been waiting for permission to bring more play into your life, here it is. Science backs it. Survival depends on it.
And if Keith Richards can still play, so can you.
Looking for an outlet for play? Join us in Maine this July 10-14.
