When the dream of a lifetime of “happily ever after” dies, divorce can feel like the end of the world. Spoiler alert—it’s not.
If you’re taking yourself too seriously right now, you might be missing the bigger picture. I’ve been there and got stuck in the heaviness of it all. But most of my biggest breakthroughs came after I lightened up, embraced the messiness, and opened up to the wild possibilities that lay ahead.
Here’s what I know: After divorce, it was way too easy to focus on what went wrong— That I failed. That I’d never find joy again. But that’s just a story—one that I eventually learned to rewrite.
The truth is, when we take ourselves too seriously, we close the door on what’s next. We get bogged down in guilt and regret, missing out on opportunities for growth, adventure, and yes, even some fun. We start to think the rest of our lives will be a series of “meh” moments. But in reality, we’re setting ourselves up for something way more exciting than we ever imagined.
So, what does it really look like to take things less seriously after divorce? How did I shift my mindset to embrace the unknown, stop dwelling on the past, and open myself up to the future?
Here’s what worked for me:
1. I Stopped Making Myself the Villain (and the Victim)
When I went through my divorce, it was easy to fall into the trap of blaming myself—or my ex—for everything. The truth is, we were both just human, each with our flaws and baggage. I had to remind myself that this wasn’t a movie where I was the hero or the villain—it was real life. I stopped beating myself up for things out of my control and started taking responsibility for my role in the relationship. And you know what? I’m not defined by my mistakes (and there were many), and neither are you.
2. I Embraced the Chaos
Let’s be honest—life after divorce is messy. Plans don’t always pan out, emotions can feel like they’re all over the place, and things just don’t go the way we expect. And you know what? That’s okay. I had to learn to embrace the chaos and understand that I’d never have all the answers. Once I did, everything became a little easier to navigate. Looking back, some of the best moments in my life came from the unexpected—those “What now?” moments that turned into something great.
3. I Learned to Laugh at the Absurdity
Divorce is weird. It’s tough. It’s frustrating. But sometimes, you just have to laugh. I looked at some of my “What the hell just happened?” moments and realized that they were part of my unique journey. When I stopped taking everything so seriously, I found room for humor. That’s when things really started to shift for me. Laughter helped release the pressure and allowed me to see the situation from a lighter perspective—and it made all the difference.
4. I Tried New (or Ridiculous) Things
After my divorce, I realized that I had this amazing freedom to reinvent myself. I dove into new experiences I’d never considered before—things completely outside my comfort zone. I tried salsa dancing (fun, but… difficult), made gnocchi from scratch (same), and even tried CrossFit (hmm… there’s a pattern). I reengaged with activities that made me feel alive again, like hiking, traveling solo, and public speaking. I didn’t let the fear of failing stop me. I embraced being a beginner, and that’s where the true adventure began. Whether it was learning something new or doing something a little ridiculous, I found joy in the process.
5. I Let Go of the “Shoulds”
I spent a lot of time wondering what I “should” be doing after my divorce. Should I feel angry? Should I move on faster? Should I be completely over it by now? Did I move on too quickly? But here’s what I learned: there’s no manual for how to get through divorce. No one can tell you exactly how to heal or when. I let go of those “shoulds” and started living life the way I wanted to. I made my own rules, even if they were unconventional, and it felt damn good.
6. Remember: It’s Just a Chapter, Not the Whole Book
When I went through my divorce, it felt like the end of the story. But I had to remind myself that it was just one chapter—not the whole book. There was so much more to come. I wasn’t finished yet, and neither are you. Divorce doesn’t define us—it’s a part of our story, but not the final chapter. What came next for me was a life full of joy, adventure, and yes, a whole lot of laughter. And I’m not even close to finished writing my story yet. Neither are you.
Ready to laugh it off a bit? Try the quiz: Which Couple Is Your Celebrity Divorced Doppelganger? Now, I get it—it’s a little silly. But it’s also a reminder that even the most high-profile- and absurd- divorces can lead to transformation and unexpected laughs. If celebs can roll with it, so can I—and so can you.
So, here’s the challenge: Stop taking yourself so seriously. Embrace the chaos. Embrace the unknown. There’s so much more out there for you, but only if you’re willing to lighten up and let go of the past. Your divorce doesn’t define you. It’s just a chapter, not the whole damn book.
If you’re ready to stop blaming, shaming, and poor framing, and start embracing the adventure ahead, I’m here for it. Let’s chat. You deserve to see the world of possibilities waiting for you on the other side of this.
