Divorce clients often grapple with a rollercoaster of emotions – anger, sadness, frustration, and confusion among them. It’s natural to want to release these feelings, to find a way to ease the burden they bring. However, recent research suggests that the conventional wisdom of venting anger may not be as effective as once believed.
In a meta-analytic review conducted by researchers at Ohio State University, venting anger was found to have little evidence supporting its efficacy. In fact, in some cases, it could even exacerbate anger rather than alleviate it. This flies in the face of conventional wisdom that says venting to a close friend or loved one helps reduce our anger.
Instead of venting, the study suggests a different approach: engaging in activities that reduce physiological arousal. For many of my clients, this is where journaling comes in. Journaling allows us to explore our emotions in a safe space, without the risk of escalating anger. By putting our thoughts and feelings on paper, we can gain clarity and perspective on what we’re experiencing.
One of the key insights from the research is the importance of separating our identity from our emotions. Our feelings are transient, they come and go like waves in the ocean. But too often, we allow our emotions to define us, to dictate our actions and reactions. Journaling helps us observe our emotions from a distance, acknowledging them without letting them consume us.
When we journal, we give ourselves the opportunity to feel our emotions fully without being controlled by them. We can explore the underlying causes of our anger, sadness, or frustration, gaining insights that may not be immediately apparent. By expressing ourselves on paper, we release the emotional pressure cooker in a constructive way, rather than letting it simmer and boil over.
Moreover, journaling provides a tangible record of our emotional journey. We can look back on our entries and see how far we’ve come, how our perspective has shifted over time. This retrospective view can be incredibly empowering, reminding us of our resilience and growth.
Incorporating journaling into your divorce recovery process can be a transformative tool for emotional healing. Instead of relying on venting as a temporary fix, embrace the power of journaling to navigate the complexities of divorce with grace and resilience.
Remember, your emotions do not define you – they are simply a part of your journey. Embrace them, explore them, and ultimately, transcend them through the transformative practice of journaling.
